Monday, May 17, 2010

According to Him (with a capital H)

If you have listened to top 40 music at any time recently you may have heard this song. She starts the song listing the negative things her current love interest tells her she is:
According to you
I’m stupid,
I’m useless,
I can’t do anything right.
According to you
I’m difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I’m a mess in a dress,
can’t show up on time,
even if it would save my life.

She then moves on to list the positive things another man has told her she is:
But according to him
I’m beautiful,
he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny,
everything he ever wanted.

When I listened to this song the first few times I was trying to get the lyrics down so I could sing it in the car properly. Then it started hitting me. . . change that lower case 'h' in the word "him" to an uppercase and she has it completely right. "Him", the guy who gets the uppercase H regardless of his position in the sentence is God.

As I said before, if you have been listening to those radio stations at all lately you have probably heard this song. If you have been within ear shot of me lately, you know that I have been reading a Beth Moore book "So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us". I picked this book up (OK really my sister Angie picked it up and then my Mom bought me one the moment I said I wanted to read it) after sitting in bed one night feeling like a complete failure.

On my bed, sitting up, in the dark, eyes closed, tears of exhaustion. I got smacked in the face with my problem. This was MY problem. I was expecting everything else in my life, if well orchestrated by me to be successful, to scream back to me "You are awesome!". My husband should be taking notes and following the rules that I set up so that his actions would look me in the face and exclaim "You are right. You are brilliant!" Somehow, no matter how hard I tried to make myself and others do everything the right way, it did not work. I like Dr. Phil's little saying "So how's that working for you?" Not good Dr. Phil, not good at all.

My husband did such a fantastic job of being my Knight in Shining Armor, my Prince on a White Horse for quite a few years. No person can keep that up. No man can do that for you. My husband was not meant to be my security.

When I listen to those lyrics now, the negative qualities, I don't just hear them coming from one man - or a woman- or several men - or even a tangible man at all. They come from everywhere. Sometimes they come from inside us. If they came from the outside, then we take them on and repeat them in our heads. The key is that the one that begins with a capital letter every time He is mentioned - is screaming those good lines at us all the time.

You are beautiful, incredible, everything He ever wanted. He can't get you out of His head. He wants us to make Him proud. Doing what He wants us to do. That is different for each of us. God wants you to come to him with every major and minor detail. He won't get annoyed. He made you with your soft heart and your mind that can't hold on where Massachusetts is on a map but you can sense a friends uneasy soul. He made you funny or caring or creative. You cry at every sappy movie. Maybe you were made with a quick mind and tongue. You have your role and you need to use it for Him to be proud of. Any other security will fail you. He's into you for everything you are "not" according to them.


  1. I agree with are beautiful, amazing and you make me proud to call you sister! You are incredible. I could not have asked for a more wonderful family. Yes, Danielle will beat me to finishing the book, but I have loved hearing, reading and listening to her insight.

  2. Finishing the book is not the HUGE accomplishment. Starting it is the hardest part. I don't want to finish because then I will be on my own to apply it!

  3. Thanks Danielle! I lived w/ a guy that told me I was most of those negatives and a few more. NOW? Nope, not anymore. When I was at my lowest I reached my highest (most of us do. I FROGged it! I fully relied on God. I had never left God, just misplaced him for a while, while my sorrowful me went slumming. God sent me a great man to tell me that God expected/expects better of me. God made me for a reason, I had/have worth (God said so), I had/have value (God said so). Donald spends a lot of time listening to Joel Osteen and it really helped/helps him to look at things differently. Donald has spent a few years working to make himself a better Donald because that is what God wants of him. Donald now passes these thoughts along to me. I am in a much, much better place than I was a few years ago. You are right! God wants the best for us, if we spend time putting ourselves down, what do we expect others to do? If we allow others to say bad thiings about us we will eventually begin to believe them. It is very true w/ children - what they hear they are, they often become.

    ANYWAY - THANKS!!!!!

  4. As usual, D, you are right on. We are beautifully and wonderfully made by HIM who loves us unconditionally. It is us who places so many conditions on what we can do and how we love.

    I am thrilled that you are realizing how beautiful and amazing you are. God is smiling and nodding and saying, "Yeah, you're gettin' it now."

    Oh, yeah - I love you!

  5. Love you too Terry!!!! Thank you!